


bippity boppity bro

by mochi_stan



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3racha are brothers, Anxiety, Bad Jokes, British, British Slang, Chatting & Messaging, Childhood Trauma, High School, M/M, Magic, Multi, Urban Fantasy, Witches, chatfic, excessive british mentions, just bants i guess, some of it can be a little heavy oops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23934226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochi_stan/pseuds/mochi_stan
Summary: 3racha are new to town and get invited to a gc of witch teens
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 30
Kudos: 103





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

> 3racha gc:  
> chan - papa  
> changbin - darkness  
> jisung - ya boy
> 
> main:  
> chan - old man  
> minho - furry  
> smol - changbin  
> bone whisperer - hyunjin  
> spicy - jisung  
> stan twice - felix  
> tracy beaker - seungmin  
> basil brush - jeongin
> 
> chan + minho are in year 13 (sixth form)  
> changbin is in year 12 (sixth form)  
> hyunjin, jisung, felix + seungmin are in year 11  
> jeongin is in year 10  
> (i get that irl they wouldn't be split in these years like this cos of how the british school system works but it's too much effort to bother with that sjdksj)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> introducing 3racha to the witch community

_ 7:43am _

**_bastard bros_ **

**papa:** are we all ready for this

**ya boy:** absolutely not

**papa:** come on we’ll be fine 

**ya boy:** um did u forget about the fact that this is our third move in the past 5 years

**darkness:** when have we ever not been fine tho

**ya boy:** i dunno about u but i have crippling anxiety 

**darkness:** we all have the same trauma here u aint special

**papa:** hurry up or im driving off without you 

**ya boy:** dont be like that bro :((

**papa:** then hurry UP loser

**darkness:** aight we’re coming 

_ 7:41am _

**_is it soggy brownie day again_ **

**tracy beaker:** not to alarm anyone but isn’t today the day the new kids come 

**bone whisperer:** seungmin what

**tracy beaker:** yknow how our parents have been raving about this new witch family moving into town?? and their kids are all our age and one is gonna be in our year??

**basil brush:** not u too 

**basil brush:** my mum is so excited

**tracy beaker:** they’re supposed to be really powerful and they keep causing trouble for the local witches so they have to keep moving around or smn

**tracy beaker:** but we’ve got a strong witch community here so it’ll be better for them

**bone whisperer:** bro how do you know all of this

**furry:** hyunjin why are you asking seungmin kim how he gets his info you know that’s stupid

**bone whisperer:** youre right i totally forgot who i was talking to for a second 

**basil brush:** mibho can u pls hurru up my fingrrs r freezimg 

**furry:** why are you waiting outside you plonker

**furry:** i’ll be there in 5 mins 

**stan twice:** i forgot it was thursday today yikes

**bone whisperer:** does that mean you haven’t revised for the maths test 

**stan twice:** do you think mr harris will be mad if i skive maths

**basil brush:** felix i think ur dad will be madder

**bone whisperer:** isn’t it ‘more mad’

**basil brush:** does it look like im passing english don’t ask me pal

**tracy beaker:** you’d be passing if you read all the books like you’re supposed to 

**basil brush:** didn’t ask u :D

**stan twice:** jinnie help me revise on the bus pls 

**bone whisperer:** okay !!

_ 1:27pm _

**_is it soggy brownie day again_ **

**bone whisperer:** the new kids are here

**basil brush:** i havent seen them yet what are they like

**bone whisperer:** well the one in our year is called jisung and he’s really nice but he seemed super shy and scared of us

**bone whisperer:** and i invited him to sit with us at lunch but he seemed reluctant

**bone whisperer:** and ig he told his brothers and now they’re all sitting with us at the table which is why im the only one here talking

**basil brush:** miss james is holding me up in art cos she lost my assignment but i’ll be there soon i wanna see them for myself

**furry:** the older brother is older than me but he’s redoing a year so he’s in year 13 with me and he’s kind of cool but he didn’t say much

**bone whisperer:** he seems friendly but the other one, changbin, is kind of intimidating

**basil brush:** omw!!

_ 3:43pm _

**_is it soggy brownie day again_ **

**_[bone whisperer has added chan, changbin, and jisung to is it soggy brownie day again]_ **

**bone whisperer:** welcome!!

**jisung:** help im scared

**changbin:** oh u weren’t kidding about a gc 

**furry:** guess who’s who

**chan:** you’re minho

**furry:** aw man how’d u get it

**stan twice:** minho u turn into a cat that’s why ur nickname is furry 

**jisung:** omg felix!!

**stan twice:** jisungie!!

**changbin:** that was cute do it again

**jisung:** he’s jealous

**changbin:** of what??

**jisung:** attention

**jisung:** he just hit me 

**bone whisperer:** okay who am i

**changbin:** well you’re hyunjin cos we already have your number 

**bone whisperer:** oh right

**basil brush:** im jeongin im the little year 10 kid

**jisung:** why are u basil brush

**basil brush:** [ **https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basil_Brush** ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basil_Brush)

**jisung:** i asked for an explanation not a wiki link 

**jisung:** wait his alias is basil yang?? WAIT YOUR NAME IS JEONGIN YANG

**bone whisperer:** he also kind of looks like a fox 

**chan:** i see it

**_[jisung changed his name to spicy]_ **

**_[spicy changed changbin’s name to smol]_ **

**_[spicy changed chan’s name to old man]_ **

**spicy:** was getting annoying it was

**old man:** hey! i’m not old

**smol:** i’m not THAT small

**spicy:** literally everyone here is taller than you bro

**smol:** don’t care didn’t ask 

**stan twice:** why is jisung spicy tho

**spicy:** 3racha

**stan twice:** what

**smol:** nothing absolutely nothing don’t worry

**spicy:** skepta's got some competition

**old man:** no he does Not you shut your shit jisung bang 

**spicy:** or what old geezer

**old man:** 3

**spicy:** im not afraid of you

**old man:** 2

**furry:** im scared for you

**stan twice:** what’s happening

**old man:** 1

**spicy:** im sorry im sorry im very so very sorry mr bang sir so sorry won’t happen again whats a 3racha

**old man:** :)))

**furry:** that was hot what happened

**spicy:** chan has big scary magic yk 

**basil brush:** boom boom

**tracy beaker:** pls shut up 

**basil brush:** youre not the boss of me

**bone whisperer:** this was a good idea

**smol:** i beg to differ

**old man:** then beg

**smol:** ?? no thanks

**stan twice:** then beg

**stan twice:** crap u beat me

**smol:** anything 4 u 

**spicy:** Hm Don’t Like That

**bone whisperer:** dont like what

**spicy:** changbin having feelings

**smol:** hey fuck u i have lots of feelings they’re Big and Sad

**old man:** emo fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i havent published a fic in forever bcs i hated my writing at the time and was stressed so i just wrote fics for myself. i've got a completed skz magic ish family one that i'll probably publish here too but for now this is just some crappy british witch skz chatfic for the gays and the brits!!  
> also im from the south of england so take this watered down bad british shit with a grain of salt. there WILL be plot i just dont know what the plot is gonna be so shdksj
> 
> also the general gist of their witch things i've made is that when they're around 13 they get to decide which direction of magic they wanna go down but it's not like a requirement idk shdjsk


	2. TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3racha get to know the local witch boys through bonding over toxic exes and uh,,, high speed Getting Together (im bad at slow burns/slow anything soz)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3racha gc:  
> papa - chan  
> darkness - changbin  
> ya boy - jisung
> 
> main:  
> old man - chan  
> furry - minho  
> smol/binnie - changbin  
> bone whisperer - hyunjin  
> spicy - jisung  
> stan twice - felix  
> tracy beaker - seungmin  
> basil brush - jeongin
> 
> changhyunlix:  
> moon - changbin  
> sun - hyunjin  
> stars - felix

_ 5:38pm _

**_is it soggy brownie day again_ **

**spicy:** what does one do when a gang of men smelling of weed is blocking the alley home

**old man:** send me your location im coming to get you

**spicy:** Do Not ill just go around 

**bone whisperer:** woah chan got protective quick

**furry:** that was kind of hot O.o

**old man:** don't do the O.o thing that’s cursed 

**old man:** jisung you good?? baby?? 

**spicy:** yes papa

**old man:** cuRSED

**spicy:** don’t call me baby then you’re not my mum

**spicy:** also im fine it was just some guys i went around 

**bone whisperer:** tbh gangs of druggies are kind of sketchy around here watch out for them

**stan twice:** one time an old man offered me weed at a bus stop and i said no and he was like are u sure and i was like im sure and he was like aight and then got on the bus

**smol:** the best druggies are the old hippies 

**stan twice:** fax 

**basil brush:** i beg to differ

**stan twice:** your grandad isn’t a hippy he’s just a cunt

**basil brush:** nan deserves better 

**furry:** why did chan get so protective tho 

**smol:** its because jisung used to get in trouble with gangs of people before 

**furry:** O.o

**old man:** cuRSED

**old man:** it’s one of the reasons we had to move 

**smol:** for one of the times

**furry:** a fucking mood

_ 2:58am _

**_is it soggy brownie day again_ **

**bone whisperer:** josh is back in school

**stan twice:** how do you know that??

**bone whisperer:** he just messaged me

**stan twice:** i thought you had him blocked :((

**bone whisperer:** i still have his number just in case he wanted to apologise or smn

**bone whisperer:** it’s stupid he’s never going to admit he was wrong and toxic for all those months and he’s never going to apologise

**bone whisperer:** and now he’s messaged me saying he’s back at school next week and that he misses me likw what the fuck am i meant to say to that

**stan twice:** be straight up with him

**stan twice:** he doesn’t deserve any sympathy

**smol:** whaddup

**smol:** oh 

**bone whisperer:** i forgot we have new people here

**bone whisperer:** josh is this ex of mine who was really fucking gross and shit and i broke it off with him after 6 months and he never apologised for trying to hurt me and ruin my life by outing me to my parents ://

**bone whisperer:** and he got excluded for 2 weeks because he got caught doing drugs when we had ofsted in

**smol:** oh yikes sounds like a fucking dickhead

**smol:** listen to felix tell him how you feel and tell him nothing will fix what he did 

**stan twice:** see binnie gets it!!

**smol:** binnie..

**stan twice:** do you not like being called binnie

**smol:** i do it was just really cute

**_[bone whisperer changed smol’s name to binnie]_ **

**binnie:** stop im blushing

**old man:** i just dropped a huge fuck off grimoire on my foot

**binnie:** ik i heard lmao 

**binnie:** ur a clumsy shit and now great grandma heeyoung is gonna curse you from the spirit world loser

**old man:** changbin thinks hyunjin has really pretty eyes

**binnie:** WHAT THE FUCK??:@@:@}##

**old man:** and he likes felix’s freckles cos they look like stars and he likes stars cos he’s on the celestial witch path

**binnie:** i don’t fucken deserve this 

**binnie:** genuinely hate you 

**bone whisperer:** ...you think my eyes are pretty??

**stan twice:** and my fweckles??

**binnie:** haha uhhh

**binnie:** i mean who doesnt

**bone whisperer:** josh apparently

**old man:** i can curse him if you want

**binnie:** chan,,

**old man:** just a little curse he’ll only realise when it’s too late its not that bad

**bone whisperer:** i appreciate the gesture but i dont want him to die

**old man:** im really good at curses trust me

**old man:** how about a little hexing huh

**stan twice:** just say yes jinnie

**bone whisperer:** i would but he'd know i had it done so nah

**stan twice:** cowardice

_ 6:13am  _

**_is it soggy brownie day again_ **

**spicy:** lmaooo chan exposed changbin’s crushes

**binnie:** i hate both of u 

**furry:** oh fr??

**furry:** then can i now confess i think chan sexy

**spicy:** No You Cannot

**bone whisperer:** chan do be kind of sexy

**bone whisperer:** but uhh ive got my eye on the short one 

**stan twice:** *eyes emoji*

**binnie:** wait what

**binnie:** i legit thought hyunjin and felix were dating tho

**stan twice:** sweats

**bone whisperer:** well uhh

**bone whisperer:** wait

**_[hyunjin has made a new chat]_ **

**_[hyunjin had added felix and changbin to the chat]_ **

**_[hyunjin has changed the chat name to binjinbok]_ **

**_[hyunjin has changed his name sun]_ **

**_[hyunjin has changed felix’s name to stars]_ **

**_[hyunjin has changed changbin’s name to moon]_ **

**stars:** jinnie im so soft wtf

**moon:** h-hello??

**sun:** OKAY so uhh felt like we were breaching a barrier of flirting haha

**sun:** unless i read that entirely wrong

**moon:** no you're good

**stars:** omg is this where i confess my 2 year crush on hyunjin

**sun:** i mean u can but wbk

**moon:** HM???

**stars:** everyone knows i've had a crush on jinnie since year 9 but he only came out as gay last year so i never stated it

**sun:** and i started dating josh too bleugh

**sun:** i found out about lixie’s crush on me while i was dating josh and i realised that i was being treated like SHIT and lixie would never do that to me so haha yeah

**sun:** it's a really long story

**moon:** oh wow

**moon:** um where do i come into this then 

**stars:** pretty sure we both fell in love with you at first sight

**sun:** no he scared me at first and then he laughed and i was In Love

**moon:** wait wait WAIT

**sun:** yes?

**moon:** so is this gonna be a like 3 way thing then?? like you two date and then you both date me?? 

**stars:** is that,, an issue?

**moon:** no i just need to confirm cos i can't be getting hurt by liars again 

**sun:** oh baby noo we promise we’re being legit here

**stars:** yeah!! let's take it slow,, if you still want to keep going

**moon:** do i get little forehead kisses because if so then absolutely yes

**stars:** you get all the forehead kisses!!! 

**sun:** pls im so excited to be in a healthy happy relationship 

**stars:** you can flex on josh because we have good hair and we aren't toxic 

**moon:** oh oh wait would it be a bad idea to kiss both of jinnie’s cheeks when josh is lookin or

**sun:** would u do that?? will you?? can you??

**stars:** anything for u my love <3

_ 6:35am _

**_chan + minho_ **

**minho:** so uhh i think changbin felix and hyunjin are gonna start dating soon

**chan:** whaddup yeah i figured, changbin hasn't stopped singing all morning

**minho:** damn that's kind of cute

**chan:** very

**minho:** also uhh

**minho:** just wanted to check w you

**minho:** are you fine with me calling you sexy cos you are kind of sexy bro

**chan:** o-oh yeah im definitely fine with that

**chan:** more than fine 

**minho:** well that's good to know bro

**chan:** ‘bro’

**minho:** soz i call people bro when im flirting with them 

**minho:** i get nervous behind this facade

**chan:** you flirt with many blokes or

**minho:** you're the only one i've flirted with in a while bro dw

**chan:** mm good to know 

**chan:** you're kinda pretty too btw

**minho:** brO


	3. THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> binjinbok said fuck toxic men, gay poly rights only <33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3racha gc:  
> papa - chan  
> darkness - changbin  
> ya boy - jisung
> 
> main:  
> old man/snitch bitch - chan  
> furry - minho  
> smol/binnie - changbin  
> bone whisperer - hyunjin  
> spicy - jisung  
> stan twice - felix  
> tracy beaker - seungmin  
> basil brush - jeongin
> 
> changhyunlix:  
> moon - changbin  
> sun - hyunjin  
> stars - felix

_ 10:12am _

**_is it soggy brownie day again_ **

**tracy beaker:** just seen josh pass by my classroom want me to hex him

**stan twice:** do it

**tracy beaker:** if u see him later with a spot on his nose the size of a ballsack dont look at me

**bone whisperer:** you're the realest b

**old man:** i offered to hex him too and you refused bruh

**basil brush:** yeah but we all know you're super powerful all the witch mums have been talking about you lot all week

**old man:** feeling like a celebrity instead of a wank sock for once

**binnie:** WANK SOCK

**spicy:** WANK SOCK

**old man:** WANK SOCK

**stan twice:** i dont wanna ask

**binnie:** you really shouldnt

**furry:** arent you all in lessons rn

**spicy:** uhhhh

**old man:** yeah we’re valid we’ve got a free right now

**old man:** what’s your excuse fellas

**binnie:** im bisexual

**bone whisperer:** im gay

**stan twice:** im korean 

**old man:** okay im bi AND korean so what now

**spicy:** are u gonna snitch on us then

**tracy beaker:** SNITCH

**_[spicy changed old man’s name to snitch bitch]_ **

**snitch bitch:** i hate u so much 

**spicy:** snitches get stitches and thats the tea

**stan twice:** you snapped king !

**tracy beaker:** i just threw my history book at them both

**binnie:** i should have known seungmin was the only bitch in this gc i could trust

**bone whisperer:** um hello what about ur 2 to be boyfriends???

**binnie:** sorry i cant hear you over this seungmin validation

**tracy beaker:** changbin is my new fave friend

**basil brush:** offended

**tracy beaker:** sorry i cant hear you over this changbin being my new fave friend

**furry:** are binnie and lixie gonna do anything to make josh mad or do i have to do it

**bone whisperer:** Dont Do Anything

**bone whisperer:** you’ll see ;))

**spicy:** dont like that hmm

_ 1:47pm _

**_is it soggy brownie day again_ **

**snitch bitch:** im with minho getting brownies why are they so soggy here it’s like someone took a half finished brownie and soaked it in water for an hour

**stan twice:** hence the gc name

**tracy beaker:** they sell these wack soggy brownies every monday and tuesday and they’re so gross but they’re the only good thing they sell on those days so

**tracy beaker:** also u two are about to miss the big binnie jinnie lixie thing

**furry:** WAHT

**furry:** CHAN BUY FASTER

**snitch bitch:** we are stuck in a QUEUE 

**furry:** im gonna shove these nasty year 9s out of the way

**tracy beaker:** me and innie will update u

**furry:** lifesaver snap me pics too xx

**tracy beaker:** okay so josh legit just came right up to our table

**tracy beaker:** hes trying to talk to hyunjin

**basil brush:** oh shit here comes changbin

**tracy beaker:** felix is snuggling hyunjin so josh is asking if theyre datinh

**basil brush:** im with binnie and hes sighted josh

**basil brush:** “hes so clapped what the fuck what did hyunjin see in this guy?? whats with the greasy hair and adidas tracksuit??”

**furry:** LMAOOO love changbin 

**tracy beaker:** josh just said smn real insensitive about felix’s family wtf jisung looks like he’s about to FIGHT

**tracy beaker:** CHANGBIN IS HERE

**furry:** HELLO????? it’s been like 3 mins whats happening we’re on our way back

**basil brush:** basically changbin came up to them and kissed both felix and hyunjin on the cheek and then stared at josh like super grossed out and was like who tf are you

**basil brush:** and then josh was like um who are u 

**basil brush:** so changbin said im their boyfriend whats it to you

**basil brush:** then josh started insulting hyunjin and saying hes a freak and all this shit and it was sickening

**basil brush:** so then changbin came real close and idk what he did but we all got spooked out it was like he was projecting big spooky magic vibes and then josh backed off really quickly 

**snitch bitch:** yeah changbin does that sometimes he’s got that witch aura bro 

**furry:** fucking fantastic im crying i love the gays so much

**basil brush:** minho you’re a gay

**furry:** this is pansexual erasure u fucken wuss

**basil bitch:** im using gay as an umbrella term dont at me 

_ 4:18pm _

**_binjinbok_ **

**moon:** wait i was wondering why is the chat called binjinbok

**stars:** my korean name is yongbok so changBIN hyunJIN yongBOK

**moon:** thats fucken adorable 

**stars:** *starry eye emoji*

**sun:** josh told me hes sorry and that he wont talk to me anymore i consider this a mission success

**moon:** anything for you bby

**stars:** we’re so great

**sun:** methinks its healing time 

**sun:** i know we’re taking this a bit fast considering we only met binnie like last week but i was thinking what if we all go on a date this weekend 

**moon:** is this you asking us out or

**sun:** well if u say it like that n-no 

**moon:** jinnie.. let’s go on a date

**stars:** DATE DATE DATE !!!!

**sun:** okay omg im so excited 

**stars:** also dont forget ive loved jinnie for 2 years but that doesn’t mean my feelings for changbin are any less nor is it too fast

**stars:** it feels just right so binnie dw

**moon:** how do you know im worrying

**stars:** im an empath bro

**stars:** also jisung told me 

**moon:** FUCKING JISUNG BANG 

_ 5:54pm  _

**_bastard bois_ **

**ya boy:** @ **chan** tell dad to buy more strawberries too

**papa:** alright

**ya boy:** and i want ice cream

**papa:** we have ice cream

**ya boy:** but i want a nobbly bobbly :((

**papa:** sigh fine ill buy you nobbly bobblys out of my own pocket

**darkness:** whatever you do just hurry up mums put on her weird witchy music

**ya boy:** hey i dont wanna hear any of this eartha kitt slander 

**papa:** yeah changbin jeez have some fucken respect

**ya boy:** also binnie hows your uhh boyf thing going

**darkness:** got a date on saturday at the arcades 

**ya boy:** HECK YEAH 

**ya boy:** and chan??

**darkness:** what about chan

**ya boy:** his thing with minho

**darkness:** WHAT

**papa:** yeah what thing haha idk what youre talking about 

**ya boy:** details juseyo 

**papa:** okay nothing’s happening he just called me sexy so i said he’s pretty and he said he’s flirting with me so we’ve been doing a bit of that for like a few days now and idk

**papa:** stop pestering me it’s nothing

**papa:** i can see you both typing stop

**ya boy:** gay

**darkness:** gay

**papa:** bi erasure >:((

**darkness:** be gay do crimes love minho lee

**ya boy:** the chaotic energy in that sentence is astronomical bro

**papa:** we’re coming home now prepare to lose all your thyme plants to my rage

**darkness:** NOT THE THYME

_ 6:04pm  _

**_is it soggy brownie day again_ **

**stan twice:** mr harris just sent me an email with my maths test grades what are we betting on

**bone whisperer:** no higher than a 4

**basil brush:** 5

**tracy beaker:** judging how you were coping that morning, i’m gonna say 4

**spicy:** i have more faith in lix so im saying 6

**stan twice:** god bless you jisung bang but you have too much faith in me

**stan twice:** i got a 4 

**tracy beaker:** its alright you’ll do better next time

**stan twice:** what did u get then

**tracy beaker:** ,,, 7

**bone whisperer:** its fine i only got a 5

**stan twice:** :////

**binnie:** you guys suck at maths huh

**stan twice:** binnie >:((

**binnie:** you want help with it?? 

**bone whisperer:** have i ever told you i love you changbin bang?

**binnie:** no but you can if u wanna i guess

**spicy:** oooh he’s blushing

**spicy:** HE JINXED ME HELP MUMMYYYY

**binnie:** our mum’s laughing at him now 

**bone whisperer:** ily binnie

**binnie:** hoLy sHit

**furry:** that’s powerful

**basil brush:** guess whose house is overrun with basil bcs someone can't control they're own magic :))))

**stan twice:** was it you or your brother this time

**basil brush:** me :((

**furry:** that's okay bb ur still growing

**snitch bitch:** basil brush and his basil bois 

**furry:** shut u p 

**basil brush:** can chan adopt me now

**snitch bitch:** are you on the green witch path or the kitchen witch path?? wait how old are you have you even picked a path yet

**basil brush:** yeah i've picked a path it's green witch but :// im not as good as i hoped

**snitch bitch:** our dad’s a green witch i've got some books that might help you if you wanna come around one day

**basil brush:** CAN YOU ADOPT ME NOW 

**basil brush:** you would never make me visit my mean grandad would you

**basil brush:** you probably keep lollipops in your pockets and paracetamol in your school bag

**spicy:** he knows too much

**binnie:** ur literally spot on 

_ 6:12am _

**_is it soggy brownie day again_ **

**bone whisperer:** do u ever wake up all of a sudden to the sound of a hundred voices screaming at you

**spicy:** is this about you having a busy house or being a hedge witch

**bone whisperer:** hedge witch it's just me and my mum at home so sjsbs

**tracy beaker:** why the fuck are either of you awake rn

**spicy:** y are u awake bruh

**tracy beaker:** forgot to turn my notif sounds off lmao

**bone whisperer:** if ur not putting ur phone on do not disturb between 11pm and 6am wyd

**spicy:** living with the constant anxiety that if i do one of my friends will die and it'll be all my fault

**tracy beaker:** ,,,,

**bone whisperer:** i’d say mood but i'm a hedge witch so i'd know 

**spicy:** wish i chose the hedge witch path now but i'm still undecided

**bone whisperer:** wait u havent picked a path??

**tracy beaker:** tbf not many witches actually decide what path they wanna stick to or if they even pick a path until they're like 20 

**spicy:** i had some things going on when i was 13 and i just didn't wanna make life changing choices at the time

**bone whisperer:** fairs 

**tracy beaker:** thats okay sungie take your time 

**spicy:** thanks for the support babes xx

**tracy beaker:** i will bully you

**stan twice:** SHUT UP OMG MY NOTIFS I LEGIT JUST WOKE UP UR SO LOUD

**spicy:** sorry not sorry

**bone whisperer:** sorry lixie but maybe if u had do not disturb on,,

**furry:** innit who doesn't use dnd

**spicy:** dnd?? oh do not disturb not the game

**tracy beaker:** loser

**spicy:** come say that to my face 

**tracy beaker:** pick up the facetime call then prick

**bone whisperer:** nah dont exclude us from this ft call we are one 

**stan twice:** saranghaja 

**spicy:** im gonna cri shut up

**spicy:** lix u joining??

**stan twice:** ofc i am 

**furry:** strange children 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just gonna add that the soggy brownie thing is a reference to the brownies at my old school they were literally moist to touch but they had the WORST texture when you bit them but they were genuinely the only decent thing they sold half the time


	4. FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyunjin changbin and felix go on a date and tensions rise in the witch community

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha here's another chapter fellas  
> it's fairly plot guided there's some detail on it given by our boy jeongin !!

_ 9:03am _

**_binjinbok_ **

**sun:** my sister is trying to dress me up for the date and she wants to know what colour you guys prefer: red or blue

**stars:** uhh blue??

**moon:** go with blue

**sun:** cool beans

**moon:** i should get ready but chan wants to help me and i dont trust him

**moon:** he’s gonna slip a rose quartz or green jade stone into my jacket pocket when im not looking i swear

**stars:** that’s cute hahaha

**sun:** lixie,, are you wearing your rose quartz necklace by chance??

**stars:** no what necklace i dont even have a neck haha

**moon:** SHDSJSK

**moon:** cute

**stars:** aw fuck you cant just SAY that 

**stars:** hyunjin quit hogging your sister and get her to message me back i need to know which pair of jeans is better

**sun:** why are u asking yeji which jeans are better when you should be asking minho?? king of ass and good jeans yk

**stars:** i’ve already asked him im getting a second opinion loser

**moon:** we’re such disaster gays wow

_ 10:34am _

**_power team ;)_ **

**_[innie added chan to power team ;)]_ **

**chan:** hello what is this

**innie:** this is our gc for the kids of the most powerful local witch fams except its only half of us cos we dont like anyone else

**detective kim:** actually it’s mainly because we’re the top of the elite and yeah we just dont get along with half the witch community

**detective kim:** and rather conveniently we’re the only korean witches of the most powerful

**chan:** wait so there’s like a legit hierarchy of witches here??

**innie:** yeah basically

**innie:** we only added you bcs ur the oldest and cos we dont have any of our siblings here idk u can add them later if u wanna

**chan:** heck no they werent invited

**innie:** felix should be here too but he’s on his date

**chan:** ik ive had changbin message me like 10 times in the last hour freaking out the whole time

**chan:** he pretends he’s so cool but he’s just another panicking gay like the rest of us suckers

**detective kim:** i respect him 

**innie:** thats bcs ur both the same

**detective kim:** demisexuals have rights u little shit leave me out of this

**innie:** yeah whatever pal 

**_[innie has changed chan’s name to mr bang]_ **

**innie:** lmao mr bANG 

**mr bang:** piss of u shithead

**innie:** im so funny

**innie:** anyways chan has ur mum told u about the witch meeting afterschool on monday yet

**mr bang:** briefly 

**mr bang:** what’s it really about

**innie:** so basically all the witches have this meeting like once a month to discuss local troubles and magic stuff and kids usually tell the leader what their path is to document it and stuff idk not many communities work like ours

**innie:** before i was born there was a bunch of trouble with the witches and people started going missing and seungmin was lowkey kidnapped when he was a newborn but thats another story

**innie:** essentially they made this pact to have a proper community with meetings and a yearly elected leader so yeah this is the result

**mr bang:** wow that sounds wild but logical

**mr bang:** you’ve got no idea how stressful it was growing up being the only proper witch family in town and like the three old local witches ganging up on you when you’re like 14 bcs you’re too powerful to stay undetected in their town

**detective kim:** that literally sounds so scary oh my god??

**mr bang:** we have childhood trauma ! we’re fine now this town feels safer anyways

**mr bang:** sort of

**innie:** will you come to the meeting? i have to go every month and so does felix and minho but the others are usually allowed to stay home if they want

**mr bang:** sure we’re new so we should go and introduce ourselves and make it clear we mean No Harm 

**innie:** worm

_ 12:34pm _

**_is it soggy brownie day again_ **

**furry:** anyone else hear what happened to seonghwa park last night?? 

**basil brush:** no what

**furry:** he went out to get dinner for his family and never came home

**furry:** his parents put it on the community facebook board to look out for him because his phone is off or dead and nobody knows whats happened to him

**snitch bitch:** wait really?? 

**furry:** yeah i think that’s gonna be the main focus of monday’s meeting now ha 

**furry:** like welcome to the town one of the witches went missing on friday night and its like a relapse of the community over 10 years ago but hey at least we have the bang witches now

**snitch bitch:** ik we’re powerful but we arent invincible i hope they dont treat us like that

**basil brush:** yeah bad news they might just do that 

**basil brush:** it’ll probably be fine mrs evans is this year’s leader and she’s really sweet she wont let them bully u x

**snitch bitch:** ill hit you tomorrow for that little x

**basil brush:** if u can catch me old man then sure

**furry:** so glad im not the oldest anymore whew

**snitch bitch:** fuck u

**spicy:** that's so scary tf

**spicy:** do people regularly go missing??

**basil brush:** they used to before i was born but it was supposed to be over

**spicy:** ah

**snitch bitch:** nothings gonna happen to any of us

**spicy:** you don't know that

**snitch bitch:** i wont let it

**snitch bitch:** if something DOES happen, ill sort it out okay?

**spicy:** ,,like last time??

**snitch bitch:** if i have to 

**furry:** i feel like im invading 

**spicy:** protect chan bang at all costs

**furry:** i support this

**_[furry has changed the chat name from is it soggy brownie day again to protect chan bang]_ **

**snitch bitch:** big sigh

_ 2:15pm _

**_protect chan bang_ **

**stan twice:** first date complete ! 

**binnie:** im emBArassEd,, 

**furry:** cute what did u do

**stan twice:** we went to the arcades and changbin won us a bunch of stuffed toys !!

**bone whisperer:** we had chips from the chip shop next to the italian ice cream shop for lunch and then we got the ice cream too

**stan twice:** and binnie dropped his ice cream and got so sad so i kissed him and then hyunjin kissed him but for longer and we horrified some old bitch lmaooo

**bone whisperer:** he got so shy n then we shared my ice cream cos we had no money left

**binnie:** IM SO EMBARASSED

**furry:** fucking suberb you funky gays when do i get this romantic shit

**tracy beaker:** when u learn how to actually flirt and stop pushing ppl away 

**basil brush:** boom boom

**furry:** jeongin :))) seungmin :))))

**basil brush:** gotta blast

**bone whisperer:** no u fucken dont 

**bone whisperer:** tell us our date was kyut and ur jealous

**basil brush:** no xx

**stan twice:** peasant

**spicy:** this is so GROSS like im happy for u all but pls dont make me imagine my brother kissing someone again im gonna throw up 

**basil brush:** do the technicolour yawn

**spicy:** what the fuck did you just say 

**binnie:** jisung u shit

**snitch bitch:** umm sungie we all know ur bawling with happiness that our brother isnt sad anymore are u kidding me

**spicy:** shut up im trying to be 14 year old edgy changbin

**binnie:** i had depression u shithead 

**spicy:** oh mood

**tracy beaker:** sometimes i regret this gc

**tracy beaker:** but haha mood 

**spicy:** anyways when are u coming home @ **changbin** i need help with a spell

**binnie:** im at felix’s atm i’ll be back in like an hour if it stops raining

**furry:** strong ‘if’

**snitch bitch:** ill come pick you up later if it doesnt stop soon

**binnie:** thanks bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes itzy's hwang yeji is hyunjin's sister <33


	5. FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> monday brings a heavy meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh sike heres another chapter
> 
> 3racha gc:  
> papa - chan  
> darkness - changbin  
> ya boy - jisung
> 
> main:  
> old man/snitch bitch - chan  
> furry - minho  
> smol/binnie - changbin  
> bone whisperer - hyunjin  
> spicy - jisung  
> stan twice - felix  
> tracy beaker/myday king - seungmin  
> basil brush - jeongin
> 
> changhyunlix:  
> moon - changbin  
> sun - hyunjin  
> stars - felix

_ 3:34am _

**_chan + minho_ **

**chan:** so i know you’re probably asleep rn but im just gonna vent to you 

**chan:** i

**chan:** okay 

**chan:** jisung has always been really hyper and distractible and his brain jumps from one thing to another so maybe youve caught on that he has adhd

**chan:** and changbin used to be really fucking depressed and scared and alone just for so so long

**chan:** and i’ve been paranoid for years i cant even sleep properly anymore i lose track of time when im alone 

**chan:** we’re all so scared and we used to get called freaks in both human communities and witch communities and our parents are powerful and we learned from them and its all just very weird 

**chan:** i dont know how to feel about being treated,,, properly. nice. idk

**chan:** im still so scared for us and all this friend stuff and community shit is still scaring me shitless bcs what if something happens?? what if it gets worse?? and now these disappearances are happening or well just one but STILL

**chan:** like im really scared haha idk what to do or how to save my brothers or protect us and our sick dad and all this shit yk

**chan:** i guess i just dont know how to live a normal life and this welcome of one is scaring me half to death 

**chan:** idk sorry rant over

**minho:** chan,,

**chan:** WHY ARE YOU AWAKE 

**minho:** i was gonna say why are YOU but you’ve kind of already explained it

**minho:** do you think you can sneak out?? i’ve got an empty house and a cuppa with your name on it

**chan:** i,, dont know

**minho:** ill even throw in free cuddles 

**chan:** with you or your cats

**minho:** all of us if you promise to stay the night

**chan:** okay coming 

**minho:** <333

_ 6:43am _

**_protect chan bang_ **

**binnie:** WHERE IS CHAN 

**spicy:** chill he left a note on his desk hes at minho’s

**binnie:** oh thank fuck

**binnie:** wait a fucking sec

**spicy:** OH MY GOD CHAN SNUCK OUT?????

**binnie:** ok he used to do that sometimes BUT HE STAYED THE NIGHT

**spicy:** AT MINHOS 

**stan twice:** ur both way too loud at nearly 7am

**tracy beaker:** u guys do know ur not on priv right?

**spicy:** shut up okay chan snuck out and stayed the night at minhos we’re freaking out 

**binnie:** suck my diCK

**bone whisperer:** uhhh

**binnie:** morning jinnie and lixie <333

**bone whisperer:** morning my loves

**stan twice:** good morning !!

**spicy:** im gonna throw up

**furry:** be QUIET he’s still sleeping

**furry:** we’re sleeping in cos we have 2 frees first

**spicy:** fucken lucky u bastard

**tracy beaker:** okay but what was chan doing at urs

**furry:** he got,,, emotional at 3am

**binnie:** oh god what this time

**furry:** you might wanna ask him when he wakes up

**furry:** he’s also lying on top of me 

**stan twice:** oH?

**basil brush:** why is chan lying on you minho lee

**furry:** bcs he needed cuddles???

**furry:** dont u have a school to be getting to

**basil brush:** no sir i am Poorly

**furry:** u fucken wot

**stan twice:** JEONGINNIE NO BABY

**basil brush:** it's just a little bug i'll be fine in a couple days 

**basil brush:** but if ur willing to baby me pls buy me magic stars xx

**tracy beaker:** gotchu ill leave early just for u

**spicy:** giv me ur sick

**basil brush:** ew no???

**spicy:** i want a day off :(((

**basil brush:** bring me magic stars too and i might hug u 

**spicy:** hugs do not usually come with fear but i just know urs will

_ 1:03pm _

**_protect chan bang_ **

**spicy:** i declare school stupid

**spicy:** what is the actual fucking point of taking history if my girl miss young refuses to teach me about the horrors of the british empire and just brushes it under the rug with the rest of the bs of the british education system

**binnie:** whats up

**binnie:** oh 

**bone whisperer:** ur 100% right but calling her a hideous white cunt was gonna get u kicked out lmao miss young is always like that she hates poc and gays 

**tracy beaker:** to be fair she was blatantly refusing to admit that the british empire was shit by saying how many great things came from it 

**tracy beaker:** and ticking off behaviour points every time jisung asked about the partition of india or the colonisation of america and australia 

**binnie:** jisung my guy you are unbelievably valid 

**spicy:** thanks g

**spicy:** im gonna jinx her window so it never closes have fun with that miss i get cold easily

**bone whisperer:** king jisung 

**snitch bitch:** quit being petty bro

**snitch bitch:** youre powerful enough to ruin her sanity thats so weak

**spicy:** im just giving her a taste 

**tracy beaker:** u really do scare me yk

**stan twice:** oh right we’ve gotta change something

**tracy beaker:** NO

**_[stan twice has changed tracy beaker’s name to myday pm]_ **

**myday pm:** fuck u 

**binnie:** why pm everyone says president

**stan twice:** umm bcs we live in england and we have a prime minister??

**binnie:** that’s only cos queen lizzie is the head of the state and bojo is head of the gov

**binnie:** a president is head of both

**myday pm:** wait so there’s someone who’s MORE of a myday stan than i am and they get to overrule me if they want???

**stan twice:** ur so right sorry king

**_[stan twice has changed myday pm’s name to myday king]_ **

**myday king:** waIT

**myday king:** aw fuck

**stan twice:** why are u aw fucking this THIS IS FOR YOU KING

**myday king:** ,,

**binnie:** anyways

**binnie:** its nearly the end of the day @ **hyunjin** @ **felix**

**stan twice:** ,,yes??

**bone whisperer:** yes, my love??

**binnie:** AKSHSAK

**binnie:** uh okay so i was gonna ask if u wanna come with me to the beach for idk fun

**basil brush:** BOO ask ur boyfs out on a date on ur priv get this gay shit off main

**stan twice:** jeongin yang, only out gay boy in his year

**basil brush:** and what

**stan twice:** has a crush on,,

**basil brush:** my love and affection for you, lord felix god bless

**stan twice:** exactly

**bone whisperer:** anyways yeah binnie lets go on a date!! ill buy us ice cream at the place i had a part time job at last summer they do really good ice cream promise

**binnie:** how did u get a part time job in like year 9/10 i cant even get one now they all want me to be at least 18

**bone whisperer:** the owner is a family friend so

**binnie:** makes sense

**snitch bitch:** are we gonna ignore the fact that jeongin has a crush and lixie knows who it is

**basil brush:** u shut ur mouth if u know whats good for u 

**snitch bitch:** shutting up now :))

_ 3:54pm _

**_protect chan bang_ **

**snitch bitch:** @ **changbin** @ **hyunjin** @ **felix** ik ur all at the beach but u should probably head back soon for the witch meeting

**bone whisperer:** lowkey forgot sksjbs

**stan twice:** we'll head back now!!

_ 4:47pm _

**_protect chan bang_ **

**binnie:** well

**basil brush:** A FUCKING CURFEW

**spicy:** hey at least they didnt try to shove all the issues onto u and act like ur gonna save their asses all on ur own

**myday king:** why were my mums the only ones who seemed particularly cross with how that all went down 

**binnie:** cos our mum always hides how she feels 

**binnie:** if dad was there he'd probably get pissed

**stan twice:** mrs evans proper went off on minho’s dad lmao

**furry:** as she should

**furry:** i expected no less from him hes a tory and an alcoholic so

**spicy:** :///

**snitch bitch:** seonghwa’s parents were really devastated i felt so bad :((

**furry:** same 

**bone whisperer:** honestly i was more surprised that we all showed up to that stupid meeting 

**bone whisperer:** isnt it funny how everyone avoided the root of the problem being that pathetic rivalry they had with an ancestral witch coven like 4 years before jeongin was born

**basil brush:** WHAT

**myday king:** jinnie’s mum is the only one who tells her son shit even my parents wont tell me why this all happened

**stan twice:** i only moved here recently but im pretty sure it's a bad idea to have beef with ancestral witches who no longer live in the area u now live in

**myday king:** mm colonisation but make it witchy

**furry:** our parents dont say anythint because they're all partially at fault and cant face that fact

**furry:** i guess all they think will solve this is a 9pm curfew 

**snitch bitch:** im gonna do a spell on the next full moon to,,, test smn

**stan twice:** wait chan’s a lunar witch??

**snitch bitch:** im a little bit of everything ha

**furry:** he's an ace at literally all of it makes me mad

**binnie:** um same?? imagine living with him 

**spicy:** mr perfect fuck u

**snitch bitch:** ,,,,

**furry:** thats so sexc

**snitch bitch:** SKDJKS SHUT UP MINHO


	6. SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the real snitches were the spirits we found along the way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3racha gc:  
> papa - chan  
> darkness - changbin  
> ya boy - jisung
> 
> main:  
> old man/snitch bitch - chan  
> furry - minho  
> smol/binnie - changbin  
> bone whisperer/cursed gay - hyunjin  
> spicy - jisung  
> stan twice - felix  
> tracy beaker/myday king - seungmin  
> basil brush - jeongin
> 
> changhyunlix:  
> moon - changbin  
> sun - hyunjin  
> stars - felix

_ 10:12pm _

**_protect chan bang_ **

**bone whisperer:** do you know how painful it is to need to go to the shops to buy something but there’s a 9pm curfew in place so you cant do shit

**snitch bitch:** it’s like you read my mind wow 

**bone whisperer:** we need eggs for a spell but we ran out 

**stan twice:** this sucks so much

**myday king:** the other kids dont have a curfew it’s really hard to explain why all of us arent allowed out after 9 without seeming suspicious

**bone whisperer:** ikr 

**bone whisperer:** like one of us has to say that we’re sort of grounded and the other has to make up some excuse about dangerous people in the area and i have to use my mum being on her own as an excuse

**spicy:** i really didnt wanna pull the sick dad card but that cameron kid was really pushing me into a corner

**spicy:** i dont even know him?? why of all days did he suddenly want me to meet him and his buddies at the beach at 11pm

**stan twice:** cameron is a druggie he’s usually chill but ye

**myday king:** never agree to hang out with him alone

**spicy:** gotcha

**bone whisperer:** theres something weird in our house 

**spicy:** what kind of weird?

**bone whisperer:** not sure, we can feel it tho

**bone whisperer:** we were gonna do a spell to see if we were just being paranoid but for that we need the bloody egg

**myday king:** just burn smn and try to scare it off

**bone whisperer:** pss pss pss alley rat come over for a hot bath pss pss

**mydayking:** Not Like That

**stan twice:** bet it’d work

**stan twice:** he’d probably summon an already dead rat tho 

**spicy:** king of dead shit

**basil brush:** honestly the fact that hyunjin only picked the hedge witch path cos he grew up seeing ghosts like all the time is so iconic

**myday king:** yeah he never really picked it like most of us

**basil brush:** wish i had that for me and being a green witch

**basil brush:** i just want my goddamn lavenders to stop being bitchy and actually listen to me for once but they’re all like ‘nOooOoO big bad witchy boy is gonna KILL us’ 

**stan twice:** lavenders are kind of petty sometimes

_ 11:28pm _

**_protect chan bang_ **

**bone whisperer:** help we have an ancestral spirit in our house sigh

**stan twice:** oh rip

**stan twice:** wait

**furry:** what are u gonna do 

**bone whisperer:** mum’s talking to it now

**bone whisperer:** maybe we'll find out what happened to seonghwa or something 

**furry:** so

**spicy:** it’s been 5 mins give him time

**furry:** im impatient shut up

**bone whisperer:** holy shit???

**furry:** WHAT IS IT SPILL

**bone whisperer:** so apparently there was a fight?? the police case closed on it ages ago but the ancestral witches kidnapped ALL of the kids like everyone 

**bone whisperer:** so this was before any of us were born

**bone whisperer:** and they demanded to have some cooperation, but a lot of the new witches acted out and refused while the majority were like sure whatever 

**bone whisperer:** and there was a fight and some of the ancestral witches ‘disappeared’

**furry:** so they were killed

**bone whisperer:** lmao yeah

**bone whisperer:** all the kids were returned, but now the ancestral witches have come back and they’re in town and they took seonghwa but apparently he’s okay they keep feeding him cookies and he’s actually not in trouble but idk he’s still been kidnapped

**spicy:** but why seonghwa

**bone whisperer:** his mum was one of the witches who acted out,, 

**furry:** so she knows exactly what she did and then still went and was like oh idk what could have happened i just want my son back BITCH

**stan twice:** can we just get ONE day of peace 

**bone whisperer:** this explains,,, a lot??

**binnie:** is it too late to move back

**spicy:** we should have moved further west

_ 2:12am _

**_protect chan bang_ **

**furry:** hey baby @jisung

**spicy:** stop trying to flirt with me 

**furry:** im literally trying to steal from you

**bone whisperer:** what

**furry:** jisung has a pendant i want

**furry:** and he’s not selling

**spicy:** it’ll get u so cursed bro im doing this for u

**furry:** idc itll look sexc

**bone whisperer:** be gay get cursed

**_[spicy changed bone whisperer’s name to cursed gay]_ **

**cursed gay:** i love it

**furry:** finally i was getting bored of the other one

**spicy:** what was the context for bone whisperer anyway

**cursed gay:** i found some bones by the train station a few months before u arrived and i talked to them and they told me they were the remains of a squirrel

**spicy:** NOO SQUIRREL 

**furry:** we made fun of jinnie for chatting to bones

**cursed gay:** sungie thats how life works

**spicy:** easy for u to say u see death everywhere u go

**cursed gay:** watch out or ill predict urs by accident

**spicy:** ur a hedge witch not a seer 

**furry:** i still want sung’s cursed pendant

**jisung:** literally no 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now i know ur all gonna say, pal, where were you,, well all im gonna say is i lost motivation and sixth form started and im genuinely fucked haha cries  
> i had something else i wanted to say,, i cant remember,,  
> idk but this chapter was a little uh serious?? so i might make the next one like 90% dumb humour and i might fast forward it a little and just pretend they all got shoved into covid quarantine cos i can 
> 
> also stream back door!!


End file.
